Lovely Space

一直对心理学都很有兴趣的，但要真正的修读心理学并不容易，所以只能把心理学当成一种兴趣了。现在AOD正在播映的TVB 剧“仁心解码”是以心理科為題材之時裝電視劇，讲述关于心理治疗的故事，关于人的思维。剧中有一幕讲述到男女主角的爱情主线发展而提到关于构成爱情的三大元素：親密-激情-承諾

 

耶魯大學的心理學教授史登堡（Sternberg），在1986年提出「愛的三角形理論」。愛的三角形理論提到完整的愛由三個元素構成，親密、激情、承諾缺一不可。是目前普遍被認為對愛情研究得最完整的理論。

(1) 激情（Passion），雙方關係令人興奮的部份，包含強烈的吸引力，想更多認識、更多接觸對方，也包含浪漫的感覺、外表的吸引力、身體的親密、性 等等。

(2) 親密（intimacy），是因著溝通、互動、心與心交流，彼此有深刻的認識而產生的親近、連結、相知、相惜、信賴、安全的感情。

(3) 承諾（Commitment/Decision），包括開始決定愛一個人，和長期的與對方相守的意願及決定。會為彼此的關係負責，一起面對未來，願意犧牲、奉獻，經營愛的關係。

 

而當不同元素組合一起就呈現出形貌各有不同的情感型態風貌，這三個元素的相對強弱，會組合成哪些不同類型的情感？

(1) 無愛：三種元素都沒有，大多數異性間的人際關係屬於這種。

(2) 聯繫(喜歡)：只有親密的元素，彼此有溝通、互動，是朋友的關係。

(3) 迷戀：只有激情的元素，例如一見鍾情、初戀、暗戀、孺慕之情等。

(4) 空洞之愛：只有承諾的元素，例如奉父母之命的婚姻、同床異夢的夫妻等。

(5) 同伴之愛：親密與承諾的組合，是深刻的友誼或柏拉圖式的愛情或已退去激情，堅貞相守的老夫老妻。--「經過大風大浪，我們是最佳拍檔。」

(6) 浪漫之愛：親密與激情的組合，不願意或不能付出承諾。--「不在乎天長地久，只在乎曾經擁有。」

(7) 情欲(愚蠢)之愛：激情與承諾的組合，無親密關係為基礎，例如閃電結婚，或奉兒女之命成婚。--「你給我一夜，我給你一生。」

(8) 完整之愛：三者皆有。

 Sternberg強調完整的愛需要兼具三個元素，缺了任何一個元素都不是完美的愛情。

 

p/s: 而我们又属于哪一种爱情呢。。。我假裝無所謂，才看不到心被擰碎。。。

Just came back from an Industrial event, congratualation to the Winner of the night. For those who dissapointed, try again for next year.

 

Anyway, June seems to be the most happening month of the year, at least for me. I have been travelling since end of May.

 

20th - 24th May ~Vietnam for SDM event, very nice experience to meet up interesting people in Vietnam market.

 

8th - 10th June ~ Singapore Ad Tech, we have an exhibition booth again this year at the Ad tech, even the crowd is not as good as last year, but the experience was pretty well. Nice to meet my roommate. We also catch up with many industrial people at this event and hanging out together at night. It was pretty good until heard something very unpleasant thing from people tonight.

 

12th June - As usual, an industrial award night. I thought it was another ordinary networking event and just chit chat with people. Yet, today we received plenty of sympathy from group of people who have been hearing "someone"s comment about us.

 

Whoever was at the Ad Tech Night have heard about the someone's comment and expressing their sympathy to us. No worries, guys, this kind of comment won't kill us. We never say anything to harm anyone in the industrial as we pratice what is called business ethic, we are willing to take in any constructive comment but not to the point being personal attack.

 

I believe everyone has their way of running the business in the industrial, for all the while, we never try to do anything or say anything when you came into the business. We could never be partner but we would never want to be enemy as well, but the act that you have done recently really is not so lovely...

 

This market is HUGE...

You do your part, I do my part.

You drive your 6 series, I drive my Kembara.

You grab the budget, I grab my budget.

You talk bad about us, I will forgive you because after all everyone can see who you are.

 

Sorry for my not so good english, but I still could do my work.  It is not about what you show other, it is what you have inside. Even you are big in size but is very empty inside especially the brain and small in the heart. I pity you...

 

Even we are not rich yet, but we'll keep walking with our head held high....

 

At last but not least, thanks for those who are sharing the infomation with us and "stand" by us...Actually, I won't give a damn on what being said cos I know well about what are we doing. If the "someone" really don't like us, I am sorry, I can't help cos we are just too lovely and to be loved by so many others.

 

Anyway, I will be going to another event by 24th June at Shenzhen for a workshop. After that, I wish to get some time off with my Angel but I know is impossible as Angel might be busy as well. Don't care, just take some days off and stay home and sleep..sleep..sleep..

 

After recovering, I will start aiming at the second half target and make sure I could do it. SND...

 

 

Last words...

 

 

Arh....just finished my presentation slides, feeling so pink now, so need to get back my space in PINK as well after so long of darkness.

 

Don't know how ended up here...very nervous about the upcoming event but nevertheless it would be a great experience after all.

 

Hopefully everything will be fine..then I can go home and see my Angel cos missing Angel so much...

 

After 6 months, I am going to step on the same old land again..in two more days...

 

Do not know what is waiting ahead of me, but I assume nothing much as I am just the guest...

 

 

Do not know how much I can do, but I will just do my best...

 

Do not know how far I can reach, but I just go as far as I could...

 

Do not know what is right or wrong to do, but I will not give a damn...

 

LIVE LONG & PROSPER...

 

别让某人成为你生命中的优先，当你只是他们生命中的一个选择时。 人与人之间的关系只有在彼此达到平衡时，运作的最恰当 。

Never make somone as your priority while you are just the option...

Today make my 5th year with Innity. Some memory flashback...

 

5 years ago, on 5th of May at 915am, step into the old office at Kelana Parkview. Everything seem so strange to me, 5 things I could remember at the old office are:

1. Long expired water filtering system (You have to bring your own drinking water, only until moved to the new office, we have the diamond water supply)

2. Closed room toilet (If you want to shit, you have to go downstair Mcdonald if not the whole office people will die)

3. Huge meeting room. (Occupied 1/4 of the office space)

4. Smelly bosses' room (They smoke in their room, 3 smokers)

5. The long table for MK and King while I always hide in between. (Where we have our gossip moments)

 

After 5 years...things have changed a lot...

1. Innity has grown to 5 regions - MY, SG, TH, VN, ID.

2. Innity headcount grow more than 5 times - 2004 MY has 11 staff and we have more than 70 staff today.  

3. Sales Team has grown from 3 ppl to 13 ppl.

4. We move to new building and occupying 4 unit of offices.

5. Innity is listed in Mesdaq.

 

During these 5 years, what I have earned or learned:

1. Knowlegdes - From a IT/Media noob to a so called IT/Media consultant. Never ever thought about get involved in any IT business before, but sometime, something just meant to be happened...or it is just a matter of choice. I appreaciate the people who have been sharing knowledge with me and giving me the opportunities to learn.

 

2. Experiences - I have feel the sweet, spice, sour and the bitter of life, come across the best and worst experiences. having the laughs and tears during these working years. Thanks the company given me the opportunities to experience with different working environment. Some people might think the task given is tough, but after all, it is just an experience in life.

 

3. Lessons - As I always believe in either we earned or learned, for the mistake or error I made, I learned my lessons well and move on with life. Thanks for those people who have giving me a hard time. Sorry if I gave trouble for the mistake I made. Yet, I chose to forgive and forget those who have hurt me in the past.

 

4. Friendships - I have met many lovely people because of working relationship and made some good friend out from colleagues, clients and partners. Thanks you for the support and accompany during my ups and downs.

 

5. Me, myself and I - For the past 5 years,I am learning bit by bit about myself. I have learned a lot about myself from the feedback and advises given by others, confrontation and arguement with others. All these communcation process has made a better me (hopefully).

 

Sometime, I have lost myself but I am glad that there is always someone who infront, beside or behind me to support, lead, or kick me in the ass to get me moving...Thanks whoever you are who did the above to me...

 

At last but not least, for the last 5 years, ppl comes and goes in the company, yet for 2009...the crabs have re-union and I really happy that we could keep walking together. May be sometime we come across some conflicts and arguement due to different perspective, yet we would be able to move on and enjoy each other accompany. The most important is that we grow together...I mean wisdom..not age!! Wahaha...